I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
