Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
