Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
