i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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