I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
