But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
