She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
