Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
