I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
