So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
