You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
