Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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