I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize