Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
