where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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