Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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