Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
