i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
