I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
