No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
