It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
