end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize