When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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