Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
