when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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