so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize