so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
