can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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