Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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