This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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