...so i touched it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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