I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
