I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
