I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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