Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
