I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
