Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
