She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
