I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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