We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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