i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
