Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
