Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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