He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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