Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
