How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
there was a trapeze. enough said
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
