Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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