You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
