No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
