dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
