To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
