Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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