The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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