Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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