So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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