your parents love me but you hate me
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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