You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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