Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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