Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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